Many people try their best to avoid conflict in professional settings. They don’t engage in difficult conversations with their employees and instead wait out the discomfort. But as an employer or manager, one of the most seemingly undesirable areas of responsibility for you is overseeing workplace behavior and addressing employee performance.

Employees sometimes fall short in meeting company expectations. And then the responsibility falls on you to address any shortcomings an employee may have and help them in overcoming these issues, if possible.

As challenging as these conversations can be for the parties involved, they can effectively lead to great personal and professional growth opportunities for the employees of an organization. Carrying these discussions out is something that every manager has to do at one point or another.

In this article, we will address the reasons why you may need to have a talk with your employee and what steps to follow to ensure the conversation is effective and leads to a solution.

Reasons for Having Difficult Conversations with Employees

There can be many reasons for needing to have a tough conversation with an employee. This can include a variety of professional factors, including:

• An argument between coworkers

• Violation of company policy

• Unprofessional behavior in the workplace

• Unethical or improper behavior in the workplace

• Lack of proper hygiene

• Addressing layoffs

• Termination

• Poor employee performance

Why is Having Difficult Conversations at Work Important?

Having difficult conversations is a necessary part of any working environment. It is essential for employees of an organization to reach an understanding and work towards creating a better and improved work environment and culture.

Avoiding these discussions just because you want to steer clear of any conflict can often be detrimental for the workplace, as a whole. Not addressing and ignoring concerns also leads to your employees losing trust in your leadership which results in lower engagement and productivity by them.

It is important that we understand how to approach these delicate situations. While it may not be easy, dealing with conflict and difficult behavior is definitely something everyone can handle if they prepare well.

Below are 10 rules to remember when handling tough workplace situations to avoid ending up in a situation much worse than the one to begin with.

1. Don’t Fear a Difficult Conversation

No one likes confrontation and conflict. It is uncomfortable and unpleasant for everyone involved. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that most managers are reluctant to engage in difficult conversations with their employees.

 The truth is that, oftentimes, they are just not sure how to approach the employee and come to a solution. They fear the conversation won’t go well resulting in an employee who is upset and hurt.

According to a survey, 40 percent of employees think their managers don’t engage in honest conversations about workplace topics. Unfortunately, this infrequency can make it even more difficult to confront employees and the whole process can seem a lot more intimidating.

As a leader, it is your responsibility to handle a disruption at work as soon as you identify that there is a problem. And while your concern with not upsetting an employee is valid, you have to understand that the problem is much bigger than one employee itself.

One unaddressed issue with a single employee can affect others around them and lead to a toxic work environment.

For this reason, don’t fear a difficult conversation and be proactive by taking an initiative. Especially if it is one that serves to benefit other members of the organization as well. Always remember that sugarcoating or avoiding a problem will only lead to bigger issues in the future.

2. Prepare Yourself Before Having the Conversation

A good way to not be afraid of uncomfortable situations is by preparing in advance for them.

Before having a difficult conversation with an employee, plan ahead. Prepare what you are going to mention during the dialogue. One of the most important things to do is to go with proof to support your statements.

Gather the relevant data, facts, figures, and documentation. This also includes keeping employee statements and company policies with you to share in your meeting. This can be very important as you don’t want to initiate a meeting and address your employee based on your observations alone.

Moreover, as a manager, you are also a mentor and a coach. Collecting the relevant data would help you communicate the employee’s shortcomings with them and how they are missing the mark.

Not only that, but you should also take notes and document your meeting as well as the conflict that has taken place. This ensures that no miscommunication takes place. It also keeps the information factual and organized for future reference.

Doing your homework can save you a lot of trouble in the future. Plus, the better you prepare, the smoother the meeting will go.

3. Set a Positive Tone

When you need to have a difficult conversation with an employee, you may obsess over what you are going to say. Doing that often does not lead to saying the right thing.

An important thing to remember here is to come from a place of positivity and set the right tone to your meeting right from the beginning.

If you sound too angry or judgmental, your employees will pick up on that. As a result, they may get offended and react defensively which can add to the difficulty of the situation.

It is crucial that you make your employees understand that they are appreciated. Let them know that you acknowledge the achievements they have made in their job role.

Instead of going all out in telling them what they have done wrong, tell them what they have already done right and what they can do to improve in the future. If possible, provide them with the necessary resources and tools to make those improvements.

A good practice is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and recognize how you’d like to receive the news.

It is also important that you avoid language that is harsh and points towards a punishment. Your goal should be to provide them with feedback and help them develop as a worker of the organization instead of making them feel like they are in trouble.

If an employee feels like they are in trouble, they might lose their motivation to produce work that is meaningful.

Conclusively, just as you started the conversation with a positive note, end it with a positive one as well. Make sure your employee leaves the meeting thinking that you have their best in mind and that they should strive to do better.

4. Leave Your Emotions at the Door

While dealing with consequential workplace situations, you should always keep your emotions in check. Meetings, especially those involving workplace disputes, can often be emotionally charged.

It is important, therefore, that you remain composed.

Leave your emotions at the door. Avoid statements involving the use of “I” as much as you can, such as “I feel” or “I am disappointed.” Oftentimes, statements like these can be demoralizing for the employees when they don’t need to be. Instead of doing this, you should use facts and proof, rather than your opinion, to state your points.

No matter how you feel about an issue, it is important that you make your employee feel heard too. Not only would this avoid any miscommunication from taking place. But it would help keep the employee from getting too upset or agitated.

If you feel that the emotional levels are on a rise for either one of the parties, it is best to pause the meeting and reschedule for a later time.

5. Choose an Appropriate Setting to Talk

The setting in which you have your meeting matters a lot. It essentially helps you set the tone of the meeting.

In most cases, calling the employee inside your office is an acceptable location to have an important dialogue.

In addition, you can opt to carry out your discussion over a cup of coffee or having lunch together. Taking your employee off-site for the meeting can ease the pressure on them. They are also able to express themselves much more freely without having feelings of embarrassment.

However, before you take an employee off-site, it is important to consider the company's culture. Depending on the company's work culture, it may not be deemed appropriate to take an employee off-site to hold a discussion.

Remember that if it is a serious situation that may involve disciplinary action or serious offenses, taking an employee for a cup of coffee may not be the best choice.

More often than not, you will have a place in your office, such as the conference room, to address more serious issues.

Whatever location you choose to go with, make sure it is one that makes you and the employee feel comfortable.

6. Always Have a Witness in the Room

You should almost always have a witness present to any difficult conversation you are having. Unless you are having a short conversation that does not warrant the presence of another person, this is a protocol that you should always follow.

Keeping a witness to the conversation is even more important when it comes to serious company policy violations or detrimental behavioral problems.

In most instances, your HR representative or a supervisor is present as a third-party witness. Always remember to never involve another employee in the mix.

Any witnesses you decide to use should be informed about the situation beforehand so that everyone is clear on their goals and the meeting goes as smoothly as possible.

7. Hold Every Employee to the Same Standard

As a manager, you must hold every employee to the same standard. No one employee should receive special treatment or leniency from the management as that fosters an unhealthy work environment.

When dealing with workplace problems, you should aim to have the same dialogue and conversations with every employee.

Sometimes, you can come off as unequally siding with an employee unintentionally. This type of a situation can be avoided if you prepare ahead.

With the right preparation, you are able to rely on facts and facts only to explain the purpose of the meeting. This would help in ensuring that the employee in question does not feel like they are being singled out, leading to feelings of animosity.

8. Set Clear Expectations

Setting clear expectations right from the beginning can help your employees know what to do and what performance metrics they need to take into account. This helps avoid any unwanted situations.

However, sometimes, employees get off track and wander off task. In times like these, it is important to reiterate and reemphasize the expectations you have of them going forward. Questions like the ones below should be addressed with clarity:

• What is the goal of the meeting?

• What change are you looking to see?

• What is the timeframe for that change to happen and performance to go up?

This lets your employee know that they would be held accountable without feeling like they are in trouble. This would also help them work towards a defined goal. They would know exactly where they should improve in order to meet your expectations.

9. Keep the Meeting Confidential

When having a difficult conversation, keep the meeting as private as possible. Only share the reasons for your meeting and the conclusion that was met with your team members for whom it is necessary to know.

Keeping the meeting confidential would show your employee that you respect them. It also shows a deep level of professionalism on your part. Keeping the discussion private would also limit unwanted distractions in the workplace and avoid leading to any gossips.

10. Don’t Forget to Circle Back

Finally, once you have had your initial meeting, check back in with the employee. See how they are processing the conversation. Ask them how they are doing and if they need any further assistance or resources to make things easier for them.

At the end of the day, don’t forget to be encouraging and supportive while also reinforcing the importance of keeping their performance up to help with their professional development.